Thanksgiving Reminders
By James Chenoweth Thanksgiving marks the end of student-life every fall semester. Partying somewhat goes by the wayside and exam preparation officially begins. I am fixing to fly off tomorrow, back to that abyss that is school, leaving behind friends and family until after I survive the exam season. In this desperate time in our life, it will behoove us to take some common sense lessons from Thanksgivings past.
First, some immediate concerns. The work you brought home with you, you didn't do, again. Who knows why you thought it would be different this year, but regardless, you better get cracking on that. You probably also forgot you need to go shopping for food, because after the Thanksgiving leftovers go bad, you will realize you haven't been shopping in two weeks. Better consider a trip to the supermarket, as well. In addition, if you live as far away from home as I do, you will soon realize that you need to book a flight home for winter break now.
The funny thing about Thanksgiving break is, no matter how many times you have one, you forget that there is a finals period and an even longer break right on the other side of it. This breaks the fall semester into two parts: the more casual student-life first half, and the hectic last-minute-studying-and-winter-break-planning second part. The second part is aggravated by the fact that it lasts only a handful of weeks, as opposed to the three month long first part, during which you waste most of your time.
I haven't even reminded you yet that you have yet to think about Christmas shopping (unless you are a girl, in which case you already have thought about it, went shopping over Thanksgiving break, but used all the sales to buy cute winter clothes for yourself. Regardless, you still have to worry about Christmas shopping from scratch like the boys).
Another reminder that lies in exactly the same level of urgency as buying food and studying for finals regards your New Year's plans. If you have not made your deposit on the beach house by the end of the first week of December, you can kiss that pipe dream goodbye. Remember, it is the earlier partiers that get the worms. For this reason, I will devote the remainder of your time to considering New Year's plans to open up 2004.
A year begins and ends with one thing: college football. Therefore, do not get too excited about the inevitable drink fest on New Year's Eve, so that you miss out on the opportunity to plan multiple outings or innings to watch college football and drink more beer than it is legal for you to consume in most countries. Consider renting the beach house for a week and start a beach house pool on who will win everything from the National Championship game to this year's Joe's Jersey City Auto Detailing Bowl.
Secondly, once you have decided on New Year's plans that will allow you to watch every bowl game from the New Orleans to New Delhi, go all out on the big night. I cannot tell you what I did last year, as it is too hot for the Internet, but I can give you helpful tips I learned from last year's experience. People like to get really melodramatic on New Year's. It must be something about the new Britney calendars. Because of this phenomenon, make sure your plans include the ability for multiple toasts to the New Year and to each other. Everyone will want the floor at least four or five times. Beer before liquor, never sicker. The midnight kiss is only a prelude to the 1:00 a.m. drunken make-out. Choose your mate, therefore, wisely, because your friends will have multiple pictures of your eventual mug down. If you cannot dance, make up your own. Last year, my patented "Synchronized Falling" went over with much success. It is the dance sensation that is catching on… Catch it! Regardless of your music preferences, your mp3 list should eventually fade to rap. No one will pay you back, so back your partying deposit down with some high yield investments. If you live far enough north, you should consider investing some of your party budget to move everyone to a place where outside you can shotgun a beer without being worried about beer-cicles freezing to your face. Digital Cameras. Period. If you play with fire while intoxicated, at least know where the nearest emergency room is.
Well, I suppose that should be enough of a rip-roaring start. To re-cap, re-wind your brain to what you were doing before Thanksgiving and start there. I know the first part of December will plague you, but remember, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, after that light, there's another tunnel.
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