I recently found myself the victim of a series of technological mishaps. Since I've gotten to the point where I take technology for granted, I was somewhat dismayed when it decided to "bite back."

First, my website started acting goofy -- wouldn't allow forms to post, soon followed by the alarming discovery that "Front Page Save Results" was plastered on every form (hush, all you FP nay sayers)!

Then my cable went out. Now, this isn't a terrible tragedy because my TV is usually on for noise purposes only and I can live without it...for a while. I decided to poke around all the cords and cables, and since this takes some lighting, I went to turn on the living room light and POP! Out goes the light bulb.

OK - by this time I'm starting to feel a little weirded out and start posting questions in my various forums on how to alleviate the anger of the Technology Gods. I laughingly read about burning incense, black candles, and offering up a Netscape CD. Deciding it will all resolve itself in the morning, I go to bed.

The next morning, my alarm doesn't go off, webmail isn't available through my DSL provider, and my web host's site is down. I'm becoming afraid -- very afraid. I go to work, late, and spend hours on the phone with my DSL provider, and then more hours on the phone with my web host -- neither of whom are happy to hear from me and have no immediate answers or estimates of resolution.

I leave work at 5:00 p.m., arrive home at 5:30 p.m., and by 6:00, my website comes back online and I breathe a huge sigh of relief. However, the cable still isn't fixed, so I spend another 45 minutes on hold with the cable company and finally give up in frustration.

I realize then that it's Tuesday, and my award program rating with Award Sites! is due out at midnight. Off to bed at 10:00, so that I can get back up at midnight and await my rating!

I'm so excited that I wake up at 11:58, without the alarm clock (good thing, since at that point, I'm still not entirely convinced it's working right)! I sign online and head for the AS site...and nothing. Oh no! Now THEIR website is having difficulties! I must be contagious!

After the AS site finally comes up, I refresh...and refresh...and refresh...and still no rating. Sitting back, slightly on edge, I wonder what to do about this situation. HMO...I have black candles. I have incense, and, lacking a Netscape CD, I locate an AOL CD, figuring the Technology Gods would recognize the symbiotic relationship and might be equally as pleased. I began to question my sanity. But ya know what? Insane or not, I burned those candles, lit the incense, and held the CD up while I prayed:

"Oh Tech Gods, I hold before me an AOL CD which I offer to you in sacrifice. If you don't see fit to resolve my tech problems....could you please resolve those of AS! so I can find out my rating?"

By 3:00 a.m., the AS site was resolved (a 3.5, thank you)! My web mail was resolved, my web host's site was operating, and the "Front Page Save Results" message was off my site! (Sadly though, the cable didn't return until a few days later.)

Coincidence? I don't know, but since I have a 25 year supply of AOL CDs, I'm set for the next time technology bites back!

John Oakley (JJ)
WebBits Editor